Archive for June, 2008|Monthly archive page

please don’t fire me

i’m not going to announce that this is mitchell at wolfman’s place on saturday, but i will announce that i’m taking responsibility for doctoring the photo.


you’re welcome.

“as we drove by a trailer park in kansas, i saw a boy with his shirt off playing catch with his father. his dad was shirtless, wearing a baseball cap and had a dark mullett, but he was kneeling and playing catch. whos to say thats not the best life to have?

my sister and her husband followed us on I-35 from kansas, and a police car with its lights off pulled out quickly behind my sister and sped up to them and followed. so i prayed, and soon after the cop exited the freeway. cops got crap on my God.

one thing that i think i live by- assume that everyone likes you, and you’re much happier and confident. know for sure who doesnt like you, and dont waste your time on them. also dont waste time playing with drama and people who you think might not like you. just assume they do and theres no harm.

i was daydreaming today about a homeless family, and it focuses mainly on the child. im not sure whether its a boy or girl yet, which means the child must be before gender-defining years. i think its a girl though, and her mom or dad… but the parent invests in a pack of zebra bubble gum, and lets the child have a piece a day…. thats the fruity gum with the tattoos where you wet your skin FIRST, and the ink sorta runs onto your skin. but anyways, the kid looks forward to that piece of gum every single day, and since theres between 15-17 pieces in each pack, it keeps him going for at least a couple of weeks. things like that can keep a kid going…. ”

i’m a no limit boulder

This is the first of many excerpts from my private blog. They are old posts, most of which are from years ago. Entertaining, honest and embarrassing.

“i roll down hills, takin’ out trees,
i won’t stop until i’m appeased…
kick me, push me, try to knock me down,
me but you’ll see it makes me faster– be ready to frown.
i don’t slow down for old ladies, little kids or kitty cats,
coz rolling through the weak shows them zactly where they at..

i’m rough, im bumpy, and solid to the core.
but i’ll decide to stop cause now youre sayin you want more.


i thought i told ya”


” just had to sneeze while i began to type “how are you.” i quickly challenged myself to finish typing it before i sneezed……and if i couldnt finish i would continue typing all the way through the sneeze…..
i beat the system once again. ”


“some drunk guy last night started harrassing cara when i was trying to introduce myself. He then said,  “im sorry, whats your name?” I got selfish and amused myself with a corny response and said  “hi sorry, im lindsey.” and he attempted to outwit me with a slurred drunk reply and said “well lindsey, you look very thomas today.” cara and i made eye contact indicating the heavy cloud of confusion in understanding his thoguht process. was it an insult? who knows. “


Roughly 40 pounds of life piled atop small bony buttocks shifting uncomfortably on the front porch step,  i made a significant decision to abandon my own name, given at birth. No longer would I refer to myself as Lindsey Renee Henrie, as it felt just as stale as it did plain. My new identity was to become Lindsey Reneé Henrie. I didn’t want a nickname, I wanted a legal name change. At 7 years of age, this is easily dismissed by the unconvinced parentals. Because of this, I took it upon my leetle self.

 Since that day, I have only ever signed my name as Lindsey Reneé Henrie. For my high school and college graduation I was registered as such. The biggest issue that continues to plague the identity effort, is the fact that an alarming number of keyboard users have no idea ( nor the inclination) as to how to input accent marks, etc. [Note: holding down Alt + 130 on the ten-key will accomplish a beautiful é]

 With every document ever filled out and every paper signed, I have become my alias.

 This wasn’t the only attempt at transforming my identity. Mrs. Krenek, my 5th grade science teacher, was the first of many teachers to ask us what we preferred to be called. This translated into, “Hurry and make something up” and was most empowering. I requested that my classmates and teacher know me as “Reneé”. I even went as far as filling it out as my first name on our first test.

The collapse of my scheme and derobing of my pride happened on the first occasion when Mrs. Krenek randomly called out my name in the middle of class. Facing her with the other students, she repeated “Reneé” loudly and clearly to my face but I didn’t check in until she called me Lindsey.



Me, age 4/5 : “Momma, when are you gonna change my name?”

Momma: “Why would I change your name?”

Me: “You know, like when I get older. When are you gonna give me a grown up name?”

Momma: “You’ll always be Lindsey. I chose that name when you were born.”

Me, disaster struck:  “Huh?! Lindsey is a little kid’s name. there are no grown ups with my name. Just kids. all the grown ups are named Kathy and stuff….I’m always gonna have a little kid name!” 

business in the front, party in the back

Yes, I’ve abandoned my private blogging days–I’ve gone public. So begins my posting (the verb form of posting).

Business in the front, party in the back.



more to come.